Posts Tagged With: Random

Musings again: Dumbing Down

(Unedited!)

Yesterday, I got a 90 for a research proposal I did for two days, I even handed it in late. Now, imagine submitting that to a linguist, who published articles in journal? It feels good to be honest, and it absolutely feels good to get it out of my chest. But I just don’t have the courage to say that and to let others know. It’s not only that, I realised I’m dumbing down myself. For example, my friend told me she got 86 in another course, but she got 95, 95, 98 in the previous assessments. One of her classmates told me that the professor was rather lenient in that class. And even if I didn’t know if someone has higher than my score, I told her, “but most of them are higher than 90!”. The heck? Why did I lie? Why did I lie that many of my classmates have higher scores when I don’t know? and I never told her that the prof was a strict grader in that course? She’s witholding information to lift herself up while I witheld information to dumb myself down. I also lied to a classmate in that course, telling her I didn’t get an HD. Why? I have been thinking about that all day yesterday.

 

 

 

 

 

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Reminder to Self: There’s still goodness in the world. :)

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Stuck in a Rut

Voice: What do you do when you feel you’re stuck in a rut? Do you stop and let it be? Do you allow it, and pitch camps? Do you want to go forward?

Me:I think moving forward is the best way.

Voice: Why are you scared to accept where you are now? It is far from what you want to be?

Me: Yes, it’s not what I envision myself to be. Everything has become silent. IT’s deafening. The more I push the wall in front of me, the more I get hurt, scratch my palms, the more I understand that I do not power over the wall. I canno

Voice: Yes, so what do you do if there’s a wall? You go around it!  You don’t push it, you are yourself. You just go around it or climb over it. You don’t have to push it, climb over it! You don’t have to expect a sudden change, you slowly put your right foot in the wall, and place your left hand on a sturdy rock on the wall. It’s gonna be difficult, it may be long, but soon enough you’ll get past through that wall. Again, you feel satisfied, but remember you have to go down, to humble yourself and accept that whatever accomplishment you may feel on top at the moment is not exactly the reason why you started climbing the wall.

Rest, but you have to go down and start a new liberating journey. You don’t have to push the wall, it’s going to be difficult. Stop pointing everything wrong in your life. Instead, choose to choose the best way you think you could move past that hurdle. No need for bantering, no need for overthinking. Just do something, a little something is better than doing a big act you can’t even maintain. You can use a ladder or leverage other people. Anything. As long as you do something. Instead of looking at the wall and saying, “That’s a huge wall”. Does thinking day in and day out change the wall or lift you up? Nope. At some point, you gotta do something about it. Climb over it or go around it! There’s always that small step that you can take. Don’t pitch camps there. Don’t. That’s the reason why you get stuck at present.

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Photo Journal #10: May 19,2014 (Monday)

Spent the afternoon with ate Angie to “scour” new blouses and buy a new pair of wedges. Guess what? I ended up buying four blouses for only Php1,000.00.

20140529-092620.jpg

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Photo Journal #2: May 11, 2014 (Sunday)

Today, I decided to see Jacky, my best friend, at a chocolate shop which I first thought of as a chocolate restaurant instead of meeting at a packed fast food resto. I finished two cups of hot choco and a slice of chocolate mousse cake after having a mixture of aimless chatters and serious talks with Jacky for almost two hours. We, then, headed to KCC Malll cinemas and waited for Princess, Tata 1, Tata 2 (our house helps) and Ate Lilian (the wife of my uncle, Gerry) to watch the Amazing Spiderman 2.

Meet Jacky! :D

Meet Jacky! 😀

At Chocolate Haven, Koronadal city.

At Chocolate Haven, Koronadal city.

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Photo Journal #1: May 10, 2014 (Saturday)

There’s actually a reason why I always chose to stay in South Cotabato for a short while and never for two weeks or so. You see, I didn’t (not anymore) like the past. As I kept on burying my past, I realized how totally unfair it is for these persons whom I decided to totally shut off from my past. It dawned on me that abruptly closing relationships and forcing myself to forget about people from my past (although, they didn’t hurt me in any way) do not heal. Part of healing is facing the cause squarely. Certainly, thinking about persons in the past as actors on a movie that one can just easily remove at the click of remote button isn’t tying the strings at all. It’ll just worsen the wound, instead of healing it.

So when one my former college classmates texted me to come to the reunion, I said yes and decided to leave Davao to meet up. It turned out great. We in fact, discussed teaching experiences and activities we currently engage ourselves on. And although some consumed the conversations and yacked about random things; I didn’t regret coming to this college reunion at all…

A giant pail of water

A giant pail of water

This photo was taken at Paraiso Verde, Koronadal City, Philippines at exactly 3:40 p.m.

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Bucket List Success # 2: Delivered Two Postcards to Russia and Germany Through Postcrossing

Finally sent postcards through postcrossing to Russia and Germany. Only three postcards to go before ticking the item off my bucket list. Yapooo!

Postcards for Margot (Germany) and Inna (Russia)

Postcards for Margot (Germany) and Inna (Russia)

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Bucket List Success # 1: Sent a Letter to a Soldier

Before leaving my cove in Davao city to be with my family for a stint and somehow a break from the on and off brownouts in the city that disturbed my study schedule for my “dreaded” comprehensive exams (wishing they were just short blackouts but no, so…), I ensured that this letter’s delivered to the chosen soldier.

Letter to a Soldier

To be honest, while still scribbling and figuring out how to perfectly phrase my thoughts, tears just simply tickled down my cheeks (oooo, cheesy phrase)

Excerpt from the letter

Excerpt from the letter

Although, he’s not related to me in any way, I believe that he and his fellow soldiers deserve a simple pat on the back for their service and sacrifice for the country.

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”  ― Anaïs Nin

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.”
― Anaïs Nin

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