Posts Tagged With: lessons

Photo Journal #330: April 04, 2015 (Saturday)/ Easter Vigil

Date with Jaky at Jollibee to Easter Vigil at Banga. Today, God whispered, “Leave old thought patterns behind and start a new life. What your thoughts are is what you will be.” Thank you, Jesus. 

     

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Photo Journal #249: January 13, 2015 (Tuesday)/Lolo’s Bday!

I was gasping for breath every time
I finish a set of my workout. Phew! And if a workout’s really beyond my capacity, I always shout at the end of my session, glorifying God-so today, I shouted several times. LOL! I was really exhausted with my thesis. Imagine submitting a thesis with 1000 pages, I think that’s what it’ll turn out. Very complex, comprehensive and so, ultra draining on my part. It’s more like a dissertation for me. Too bad I had to finish it within two months. If they just give me another
month, this thesis (dissertation?) will be more… Hmmmmm!!! I sometimes envy studies which need not be transcribed and translated. But this is a choice, my choice. Well, I just practice “sanctification of work”. Could we just move to March? [Now you know why I had several blunders in my prev posts! :(] Today is Lolo’s 80th Bday, praise God!

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Photo Journal #242: January 06, 2015 (Tuesday)

Now on my third coded transcription, second day of walking and first day of circuit training. I admit I love circuit trainings more. Today, God’s message is taken from 1 Jn 4 which says [in my own words], “…this is love: God sent His only son not because we loved Him first but because He loves us.” This only affirms what I’ve been mulling over and discerning for awhile. Love is not love if it’s done because the other loved us first. Thank you, Jesus!

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Photo Journal #237: January 01, 2015 (Thursday)/ First Mass of the Year and A Look Back

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Last night was not that pure and solemn for me, as I was used to. But that’s just caused by my asthma and I won’t let that one hour of dreadful look at the world affect the way I deal with my 2015. I have so much faith in God and I always trust that whatever comes in my way is God’s way of harnessing my inner strengths and purifying me to be worthy of heaven, my end goal. Thus, I attended the first mass of the year and offered all that to God, with my new 2015 and long term goals.

They say, do not look back but focus on the present and what lies ahead. It is true but reflecting on our experiences provides us nuggets of wisdom which we need in facing the unkown future, and cultivates in us a grateful heart. It’s only by turning our head back that we see the connections between now and then. It shouldn’t be a full turn though or we might lose the beauty of what’s here in the present and there in the future.

As I look back, I could really attest to God’s providence that allowed me to traverse the every day of 2014.

In January, it wasn’t easy because we found out that my sister needed an operation because of her growing cyst in the uterus. But it didn’t happen when she got pregnant in November of 2014. Amidst the impossibility of bearing her own, I dreamed of holding a baby which God confirmed in my prayers before it happened. And it did happen. Praise God for the new member of our family. Plus, Rap and I are now close. I couldn’t even imagine how it happened.

In February to March, I had difficulty in dealing with students from BS MKTNG 2. But I became stronger and faced that issue with them. Instead of sowing resentment, I showed them that I am a fair teacher. What happened next was something I will ever be grateful for. Those same students who hated me (I presumed) appreciated that. That specific student I berated privately was shocked when she noticed that I didn’t put her down during her oral defense and that she passed my subject. The result, whenever we meet, she smiles and says, “Miss you, ma’am” even if she’s not under my class anymore. I think it happened to me to also teach these kids, values.

In March, I had to submit papers for Fulbright Master’s program. At first, I didn’t  know why I decided to submit my application because I knew while everybody prepared for three months for that, I only had a week,  until PAEF sent me an e-mail recommending me to their FLTA program which application was due in May. I didn’t follow their advice because my first response was anger. I shoved it off and continued my life, serving the church every 12 noon of Mondays, sometimes, also Wednesdays, and Sundays. When I found out in June that the FLTA application was extended till July, I was a bit shocked because a 2-month extension’s too long. That drove me to taking a leap of faith again. I was hesistant but  slowly, after praying, I heard God telling me to just “do it”. It was tiring but I did it once more, getting recommendations, drafting and editing essays for submission, spending for tokens, etc for my dream. People sometimes thought that I wasn’t spending much effort but they didn’t see what pain I had to go through to achieve my goals. You get judgments from people you’re not even close with but what’s important is seeing God along the way. It was He who opened all the doors of opportunity for me.

Oh, in April, or May? I took my Comprehensive exams. I was scared but again, I took to God and prayed hard. When exams came, I was a little disappointed with the Pyscholinguistics questions but I answered them anyway. In June, I found out that I passed. Yepeey! And it’s the official start of the grueling thesis writing.

In September, I received a call from PAEF and did an interview via Skype with them. They were really caring and understanding, which was contrary to what others had shared about them. Guess, my charm worked again. LOL. And I passed. Hello, USA.

I have to be honest that I am good in judging and in asking questions, sometimes turning the whole paper into trash but I am not a good researcher and writer. That’s what I believed in until I finally started researching on my own, without the help of others. I still couldn’t believe that I was able to write an excellent thesis which received a 1.0 from the panel. I didn’t even have tough questions from them which again I believe was from the Holy Spirit.

For the first time too, I was invited to three events as a judge. God knew that I was waiting for it, and He gave it in His perfect time.

In October, I reviewed for TOEFL but because of the oral defense, I really had not time to focus on the TOEFL exam. I spent one week only for TOEFL. God was the witness of my fear, of rehashing that painful moment when I didn’t top the board every night before the exams. It’s the speaking part that I dread the most because it’s the part when I always freezed and zoned out. During the real test, the reading part was very “very” difficult. I almost cried. The writing and the listening were as usual the easiest for me. The speaking? I felt like I was just “blah”. Oh God. But what’s great was finally going home with mom and dad to South Cotabato after the test. Two weeks after, I received my excellent scores, I was crying because I couldn’t match any of them with my actual test performance. And while I was praising God, I imagined Him looking at me and whispering, “I told you, I can make all things possible!”. Glory to God!

In November, I talked to the principal of Banga Central Elementary School and had an intellectual conversation with him. It’s when I felt that I was really meant to guide schools. (I don’t want to expound on that now). Everything went fine. I was happy. Then, my first heartbreak came. I completely just let an unknown person through, inside my heart. I decided to give love a chance, but it failed. I cried, for three days. LOL. And as usual, God’s there to comfort me. Now, I’m not afraid to love. I became stronger. Thanks to you, wherever you are!

When it was finally December, everybody got busy with the wedding plans of my sister Kath and Rap while I sit in front of the computer, transcribing audio recordings from my classroom observations. Three days before the wedding, I stopped to also help out in the planning. It turned out I had an important role to play during the wedding as an overseer and organizer. Organizing is always one of my core gifts. Thanks, God! The wedding brought families together. Finally, I was able to hug my cousins, Gaming, Daku, Inday and Claven in person. We watched movies from 1 pm to 6 pm, ate ice cream, told each other horror stories—it was all fun.

Also, in November, I had a very huge altercation with Ante Dolor. I sobbed because I knew I was wrong. I said sorry and she accepted it and now, we’re both closer than ever. After that, God showed me that I have a Borderline personality disorder. Finally, I had a name for this devil inside. I refused to be like this forever. And for only a week, for two months, I never got angry, never shouted, and became kinder.

By the way, I also applied for MARIHE program under Erasmus Mundus. I took a shot because it’s my dream course.

What have I achieved?

Thesis! Yeheeey! –Not done though, Letters to soldiers and prisoners, thank you notes to random people who appeared shocked at times, books for strangers, and manna from heaven program.

I finally am clear with who I want to be and what I want to achieve- yehey! Thanks to that student who I found talking at my back. Thanks to you for opening my eyes to what I truly want.

What have I become?

I became more independent, kinder, understanding, patient, present, mature, generous, friendly. I now initiate talks with people from my past whenever I see them in the church instead of always in a rush just to evade conversation. In other words, I become comfortable with social interactions. Even if I don’t like the person and suspect that she’s thinking about something (huh, borderline problem), I stop and smile, become kind and courteous and just let them. I realized that I can’t control people’s mind or what they say. I am now committed. Before, I always think of myself. Now, I don’t. I just help and be kind. Also, it feels good whenever people wait for your decision in the family, well, I do get that a lot outside but not within my family. Now, they do look up to me. Thanks God. I have stepped closer to becoming that person I want to be, elegant and respected. Also, I am 100% sure with my fashion taste now. Well, Kate Middleton is my perfect fashion icon, simple yet elegant.

All in all, I love 2014! You just proved that You were mine. Thank you Jesus! Glory to You!

Welcome, 2015! You are the change I want to see in me! 😀

Sorry for the overused words. :*

I will just update this whenever I remember details to add. And again, blunders??? This is unedited. Lol

Categories: 365 Photos Journal, Development, Lessons, Musings, Skills, Successes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Photo Journal #222: December 17, 2014 (Wednesday)/If not now, when?

Transcript #9’s finally finished. I am grateful for acting like a real grown-up independent woman today. In the past, whenever one request of mine wasn’t granted, I threw tantrums like a kid. Today, amidst the irksome situation, I gladly excused myself, shut my door, cried and talked to Jesus instead, which made a huge difference. In other words, I became an elegant respectable person with class. LOL. After that, everyone did not even know I was pissed off. That’s maturity right there. Thank you, Jesus. I am now learning. The “If not now, when” phrase I’ve been repeating to myself for several days has contributed to several real life changes: 1. Being independent 2. kind 3. Understanding 4. gentle 5. confident 6. Elegant and 6. healthy. Thank you, Jesus.

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Photo Journal #213: December 08, 2014 (Monday)

So I am walking again as advised by my therapist. Today too, I started saying “I love you” and “Thank you” to Jesus every after 30 minutes. The practice does not only reconnect me with God but it boosts my productivity as I become more aware of what’s happening in my life every minute of the day. Every after half an hour of my transcription, I stand, meditate and say the phrases. Usually it lasts for two to three minutes. Well, it’s a healthful practice also because it keeps my eyes from straining due to prolonged exposure to computer radiation. I believe this is one of the improvements I have for 2014: becoming fully aware, completely engaged with whatever I an doing and wholly enthusiastic in fulfilling tasks as I consciously think they’re for God.

Sorry for the blurry pictures.

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Photo Journal #90: August 7, 2014 (Thursday)/International Conference

Today, I attended the first International Language and Linguistics conference in Mindanao at Grand Menseng hotel. Honestly, several erroneous papers were presented. If I just knew that those papers passed, I would have submitted mine. From content to form, I have to be brutally honest, I’d rate most of the papers a 3 (for the effort) out of 10. The end’s obviously not a good one. I finally spoke up in one of the breakout sessions because of the many false claims advanced by a certain researcher on Language Activation. And the idiots even agreed to the stance of the speaker. Of course, I took to facebook and posted “But would SCIENCE make your study more credible? you don’t need to scan the brain… You just have to know the facts or else your study will jisy be another crap.” As expected, a friend who knew what happened commented, “Move on and prove you stance.” Poor girl, envy impedded her logical and rational take on the matter. Dumb girl, why should I prove my stance? It’s not a stance, it’s a fact!!! It’s alright, I had mister-know-it-all who flushed speakers with conundrums on my side. Pew!!! I really cried. This motivated me to conduct a research every year and present it every year. Humanda! Try natin tong research na ‘to. Let’s see. Lesson learned? sometimes, we have to be brutally honest, inhumanely insensitive to win the respect of people. Why? If i had just shot them
with questions, they could have appeared dumb and their studies’ claims could have been overturned but I chose to keep my arguments to myself to save their asses!!! Grrrr!!! This is what honestly holds me back. I want to show them that I honeslty know but I am too sensitive to their feelings that I just always end up being silent and appearing dumb. Is that harsh? Ok, I take it back. Always remember this, it’s not what you appear to be in the eyes of others.., it’s who and what you are that truly matters. Ok, Lord. Be humble no matter what. Being kind is always better than being right, remember?

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Photo Journal #57: July 5, 2014 (Saturday)/Transformers, God’s presence, Wisdom, Letter to Inmate, Anger Control Success #1

In my last post, I told you that reading the letter from Greg was a little stressful but I now realized, he decided to ask as many questions as possible because I am the only person he can talk to while in my case, to be honest, he is just one of my work-of-mercy beneficiaries…in other words, a charity case. That’s when I started asking myself the reason why I wrote him a letter in the first place. Certainly, it’s not just to tick off another item from my bucket list and if ever, unconsciously, it is the case, I should remind myself that doing this-writing him a letter- is more than that. While writing my second letter, I drawled on while answering almost all his questions that it ended up having six pages. I also sent him photos and a keychain. This day was also a brother-sister bonding time. We watched Transformers: Age of Instinction in 3D which I hate but left us with no choice because of my tight sked for the day. As usual, at 6 pm, I proceeded to the church to be the commentator for the mass. I saw one guy clocking me… Oooo. Hahahahah. These are the lessons I learned for the past week: 1. focus on what you can control 2. God is really up to something. 3. Be at the moment for when the sought after future comes, I’d look back on this day and say, “That day’s better.” 4. Loving is always better than being right. It may not be a justifiable expedient response nor a profitable act but it is, as mentioned by Maya Angelou, satisfying to the soul. So, I resolve not to retaliate just because I know I am right and it’s just for kindness is not after always being right. 5. God’s miracles are treasures, right? No debates on that and remember, the greatest treasures are not readily and easily found. Only the valient, the humble, the persistent, the faithful can find them. One has to look for them to find them. The greatest miracles, then, are those which need to be discovered…like…uhm, the wisdom
In a setback perhaps? I am truly happy, why? I finally heard God´s voice after His long silence. He never abandoned me. I felt like I am in a rut but I am wrong. I heard him speaking to my heart today, telling me that He knew I am in a safe zone that no matter where I go or what I do, I am totally safe and not diverted. It’s as if telling me to do the best that I can to better myself while I am on the preparation stage before taking off to another journey. I am not scared for I truly trust in Him. He is always with me We’re in this together. Congratulations dear self as well for not throwing tantrums and venomous words to a driver who’s obviously at fault. Wohoooooooo!!!! After this, I’ll start my coursera. Kikiki!

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Photo Journal #22: May 31, 2014 (Saturday)

Met Dr. Suzette for the first time today at 1:30 p.m. Take note: No hypothyroidism! That means, I really have to work harder on my exercise routine and diet. Huhuhuhuhu. After the check-up, Ate Angie and I talked about several matters while gobbling our Mcdo cheeseburgers and nibbling our fries in between. We jumped from one serious topic to the next while I mindfully put into practice the “Tune in to Channel Positive” tip by Dr. schwartz as Ate Angie rambled on her perceptions about the subject. Honestly, it was harder than I expected. If you are willing enough though, you wouldn’t want to put off what you learned because you know it would make you a better/greater individual. Takeaway for today: When failure hit you, choose to think big and say, “Failure is not taking something out of me. It is putting something into me.” Choose to learn from your setbacks. 🙂

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Photo Journal #21: May 30, 2014 (Friday)

Had my thyroid ultrasound at 9:00 a.m. today. Of course, Ate Angie accompanied me as requested by my mama. It was my first time to take a jeepney with another route ( from Quirino Ave.) that dropped us off San Pedro Cathedral. When I got home, I continued reading the different thinking big strats of Dr. David Schwartz that contained application tips. The pic below summarizes some of the takeaways from Chapter 8. “Give people good news or none at all.”

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