Today, I studied Acute Childhood Experiences. I learned that most of the physical and mental illnesses people experience as an adult are caused by Childhood trauma. Kids can also pick up on parents’ emotional states, so parents need to be calm once with their children. To do that, they can try meditation and forgiveness. To sum up all my learning from the past few days, I listed six commands for easy memorization: Total Dependence on God, Entrusting the Future to the Lord, Improving relationships/networking, Being Humble, Defining who I really am/Personal branding and most of all Working Smart. Saying these every day reinforces the message.
For my passage studies, I found that Isaiah 22 talks about the removal of Shebna from his post because of erecting his own image. Isaiah 24 speaks of the end of the world. In my own study, I feel that what’s being prophesied is happening now. It was said that Assyrians and Egyptians will bow down before the Lord before the end of the world. Isaiah 25 continues to reprimand against idolatry and pride which the Lord greatly abhors. And Isaiah 26 reminds believers to recognize God as the fountain of success and skills. Without God, we are nothing. All in all, the verses remind me and the believers to be humble, to depend on God, trust in Him in all things, and most of all to work smart.
Kuya Jesus, my God. You heard our pleas. Jesus, you came to the world, expecting nothing for yourself. You washed our sins, and continued to forgive all of us. You served as a libation for our sinfulness. You are the source of all wisdom, truth and understanding. Without You, we are nothing. With You, all things are possible. With Your help, we can be successful. Jesus, you hold the future in your hands. You are already in the future as you’ve stated in Isaiah. All else are fleeting, so why even bother worrying. All these are temporary. We can only do our best in this world and worship You, our own goal. Jesus, I realized that all of my relatives are not even practicing Christians. Is this Your task for me? How? Show me the way. Jesus, I really want to be contacted by World Vision. Jesus, if they would contact me tomorrow, then being a missionary is what You want me to be. I’m ready for whatever task it may be. After all, our life is fleeting. Our concerns are but a dot to Your concerns. Jesus, You are my hope, Lord, God! You are my savior, best friend, guide, coach, trainer. You are my sole purpose. You are my boyfriend. You are the gift to this world. Without You Lord, I fail. Unless You raise me up, I will labor in pain to attain my dreams. Unless You will it, I will fail. Jesus, all my dreams I lift up to You. Do as you wish with my life. As I said, all my dreams – the ones I write- are a reminder of what I want to be, but I accept that what You want for me is far grander, far better – if it is to build character-, so I am willing to trade. I love you, Jesus! I love you so much! Thank you for reminding us the value of money, hard work, family and relationships! Help me build on my network of positive friends, take care of my body which I’m doing now. Teach us humility each day. All this is vanity. I know. I learned it the hard way even if it’s already written in Your work. I thank you for this day! I love you, Jesus! I love you. I want You to fill my mind with You. I want You. I crave for You. I yearn for Your message and whispers. I remember our days together, those moments when people still find my quirkiness cute and my audacity and productivity inspiring, those times when I had to wake up early to practice and practice and prepare for everything, those moments when You would send gifts unexpectedly, those times when I didn’t have to fear for I didn’t care what others think because I want to please only You, those moments when I did something foolish and instead of berating me, you would hug me tight and tell me “it’s okay”. I miss the moment when You showed clearly your presence in my life and told me, “You will always have the greatest friend”, those times when I prayed alone during recess times in the chapel because eating could not even satiate my hunger for You. I miss those moments, Jesus. And yes, I miss going to church daily, coming back home to watch EWTN’s Angel Force or listen to a sermon from random pastors and priests, asking for your permission for all that I do.
Where did that child go? Where did that bold 13-year-old go? Jesus, my greatest desire is to think of pleasing You alone. Tsaka ya, I remember You told me, “I no longer want to give You tangible gifts for You are a big girl now. I want to build Your character.” People judge me, spat ill words against me, but You know my heart – You know my inner thoughts, the reason for all actions. It’s You who comforted me in those dire depressing moments. It’s only You who trusted in my heart. You even promised that there’s nothing I can do that will make You love me less. I even remember the letter You gave through my sister. I want You to know that You are my secret weapon, my coach, my trainer, my guide. I love You, Kuya Jesus. I love You with all my heart. I want to see You. Even if the world will strip everything off me – from awards to finances- I am content for I still have You. I love you, Jesus! I love you! Good night!