Photo Journal #215: December 10, 2014 (Wednesday)/Musings

I woke up again with distorted thoughts and feelings of resentment and abandonment. Instead of listening to these inner demons, I chose to have a rational take on them. I questioned where they could be streaming from and how valid they are. Doing so lessened their intensity. However, as experienced, no matter how hard I try to be rational , the thoughts would not leave completely because it is only communion with God that silences the condemning voices inside my head. With this, I prayed hard today and asked for forgiveness. As always, God showed the same Psalm every time I asked forgiveness, telling me how He loves me (us). Amazing, isn’t it? Also, since my problem for the week involves loving a man, I see the connection between the Didache reflection and mine today. God is telling me to just wait and trust His timing. What’s more amazing is finally letting go and losing that feeling. Yeheeey!!! Thank you God for always leading me and not allowing me to stray from my purpose. Mwah, mwah, mwah!!! By the way, I have four gifts to Jesus on His birthday. 1. Send a letter to a deathrow inmate (which I already did) 2. Write a testimony 3. Listen only to Christian songs for a month and 4. Say “I love you, Jesus” and “Thank you” every after 30 minutes for a month (and beyond). 🙂 How about you? Make Jesus’ birthday extra special this year. 🙂

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About kaylathetheoxenophile

Hi everyone! I’m kayla. This is my first attempt to share my thoughts through blogging. Got lots of exploring to do. Don’t even know where to start and what to say. To start the ball rolling, allow me to share with you some of the fallacies about Kayla Marie Sarte. 1. Writing is just not my line. Although most considered me as a creative writer, I doubt I have that knack. I’m direct to the point. My essays are straight. As long as I get the message across then that’s fair enough for me. 2.I’m not a walking encyclopedia, got that? How funny it is to be asked by some bunch of kiddos bout tons of stuffs I don’t know or even have heard. Worse? They expect me to answer their queries in a snap. Good thing, I can always find the usual “busy” excuse to elude their endless questions. 3. You just don’t know how pain in the ass reading is to me. I always record the days I spend reading and do my best to keep the pace. Yeah, I’m a literature major but it’s uhmm, …. Except for required readings in my literature classes in the class, I haven’t truly deal with literary works personally. Good heavens, I found John Grisham and Dean Koontz – my all time faves. (In my later posts, I’ll be sharing my thoughts bout their books.) 4. One thing I found truly bleak about me is my loved for movies. I don’t like cinematography or even crave like Glenn Ortiz to be the Steven Spielberg of this race. I just enjoy watching movies on the big screen. That’s all. So, it’s a fallacy that I like cinematography… just the movies. 5. Call me braggart, arrogant. Many think so because of the achievements I gained in the past aching yet meaningful 15 education years of my life. What they don’t know is how negative and perturbed, covered with worries, stressed I am most of the time. No matter how great the laurel I get, I always look back at the failurs I’ve been through in the past. So, that goes to mean, I don’t think highly of myself or consider my awards that much. Top 3 things about me: 1. A Theophile 2. A Xenophile 3. Just Kayla Marie B. Sarte That’s all for now. You’ll get to know more about me soon and about the project 2012 that led me to explore blogging. J One thing is certain for me though, I love who I am for I am fashioned the way I fit exactly in a large mosaic we are all in. Be happy. Live life according to God’s will. – Kayla Sarte
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